Started from the Bottom: The Walmart Edition

It’s always a fun night when you have to figure out if you’ve had too much wine because things are just a bit too crazy.

I posted that video in the beginning for a few reasons:

1. I cannot stop laughing at it.

2. I was involved in a “situation” with Walmart last night and that’s the only thing that would be appropriate to convey the craziness.

Last night, Whitney, Shandy and I, thanks to the New Orleans Black Professionals organization  went to a free new menu tasting for The Steak Knife, a Lakeview restaurant. I’ve passed by this restaurant on several occasions going to Starbucks, Reginelli’s and Mondo. We were super excited because it was a free meal and we just knew it would be amazing!

We walk in the fairly simply decorated restaurant and were given the option to sit at the bar for one free drink while we wait for our table. We were only allowed one drink and couldn’t have the drink with our dinner. Apparently, it would ruin the tasting. So we sat at the bar, drank our glass of sauvignon blanc and watched Brittney Griner do stuff like this. Finally, after it took Whitney, the usually quick drinker, a while to finish her glass, we were seated in an area filled with the other black professionals. The room we were in was BRIGHT AS HELL. Like, stark lights…very medical exam room bright. We sat in the corner (more on this later) and the first thing I noticed was the beyond ugly as hell centerpieces that were on the table. It was a small wicker basket with a piece of green foam stuck at the bottom, holding bundles of fake flower steady like they were doing something. I was dizgusted. Then I noticed the whole room was decorated with cheesy ass fake plants and Shandy, Whitney and I started an indepth conversation about how the restaurant could fix their decor and use black straws instead of those Parrot Ice/Icee red straws. We even took the ugly ass basket off the table and created our own centerpiece with the steak sauce bottles. Looked a helluva lot better than the basket, I must say.

We were served our appetizers, Whit and Shandy got the soup (crab, corn and shrimp) and I got the salad (the most basic salad ever -_-). Then came the steaks, which melted in your mouth like butter!! So good! They came with these extremely large asparagus stalks and new potatoes. Dessert time came and we all ordered the bread pudding that passed the test with flying colors.

Then shit got crazy.

A camera crew comes into our section and this black guy, who I noticed had been walking around to a few tables asking them what they thought of the food, stood at his mark and said “Premium Steaks, from Walmart.”

I dropped an f-bomb and said “Um, did we have too much wine? Is this really happening?”

Shandy and Whitney, both exasperated at the Twilight Zone we were about to enter, couldn’t say a thing.

We just sat there, confused. I then remembered seeing one of those Walmart commercials with the same guy going to restaurants and serving the folks Walmart steaks then surprising them.

We got punk’d. At first, I was pissed. I walked into the restaurant really eager to try something amazing and new, and willing to give my honest opinion. Then I was confused. Then I just laughed. We started to realize a whole bunch of things we found sketchy.

1. We had reservations for 8:15. There were plenty of tables open but yet, we had to wait and several other folks we knew had to wait.

2. Our section was too bright.

3. Our bartender kept looking at us funny like she knew something we didn’t know.

4. The “new” menu was as standard as they come.

5. The ugly ass centerpieces didn’t look like the ones on the other side of the restaurant.

6. The restaurant was OPEN for business on the other side.

As we sat at the table, crying laughing at the craziness, the production team came and gathered up all the ugly ass centerpieces and someone asked if they had microphones in them. In fact, the tables right in the middle, the one we ALMOST got had Whitney drank her wine faster, was bugged and gathered their whole conversation. See how God works? Because we said some ratchet things at that table that I would not like to have recorded. After we had all our intriguing questions answered, we were ushered to the back where we filled out our release forms. (FYI, a lot of the diners were PR professionals or professional actors/actresses, so that was the first thing we asked for. We know how this works, kids.)

I didn’t even know what to tell Twitter. I didn’t even know how to articulate the whole situation.

Needless to say, I had the time of my life last night with my girls. Stay tuned for the commercial. You probably won’t see us but we were there.

Enjoy the pics!

Angie

The ugly ass centerpieces.

 

My basic salad.

 

The fancy Walmart, melt in your mouth, steak.

 

I mean, the big asparagus should have given me a clue that things were about to get real.

 

The steak was melting in Whit’s mouth. She was just so happy!

 

I live for A.1. Steak Sauce.

 

This stuff, fresh from Jamaica, was amazing as well! And they are one of Shandy’s PR clients!

 

See? Twilight Zone happening. A Walmart commercial y’all.

Came home and found this. We just died laughing. Started from the bottom, now we here- on TV and whatnot.